Doing good!

The last time I posted I was really having a hard day. I don’t feel so helpless very often, but I think it’s best to be upfront with my emotions and feelings. It makes it easier to move beyond that. He has made so much progress since he started therapy and I know that he is going to do well in life. And most importantly he is happy. Last Friday he was at Grandma’s house and was reading a book and suddenly he knows all the animal sounds and said Duck! I have heard “woo woo” for a dog before and I think I remember hearing “moo” way back when, but this was far beyond and it was just really impressive. It just goes to show you he knows more than he lets on. I think that the new speech therapy is making a huge impact. I found out the next day that she’s been working on animal sounds since last week. I think I am going to try to continue that. I was thinking about flashcards or something for body parts and animals and maybe colors and shapes. I’ll have to think about it.

We are working on giving Thomas a little brother or sister. We’ve actually been trying since he was about 8 months old. I just started on Clomid this month since the doctor thinks I am not ovulating correctly. Hopefully this will do the trick. I’m getting a bunch of tests done this week to see how my hormone levels are and also to see if I have insulin resistance. I have a good chance of that with family history of diabetes and having gestational diabetes with my first pregnancy. The doc suspects that I have PCOS, so it will be interesting to see if that is the case. At least there is stuff that they can do about it. I am crossing my fingers that the Clomid will work and that this is our month. Scott and Amy just had their baby a week ago today. I still have not met little Hailey, but I can’t wait. She looks just like Scott in the pictures and she has these huge pinchable cheeks. I just can’t wait to meet her.

We are going on vacation in less than a month now. I’m really excited. I can’t wait to see everyone again. I also can’t wait to see the mountains and do some hiking. It will be interesting with Thomas, but it’ll be fun. There are a bunch of things for young kids to do in the area too, like pony rides and bumper boats and mini golf. We’ll find something that he’ll like I’m sure.

School Play Group :(

Thomas and daddy go to a play group for autistic toddlers/preschoolers once a week (only every other week during the summer). It’s offered through the school district and is part of his IEP required therapy. I’ve never been able to go to these sessions because I worked so far away, but since I transferred offices a couple weeks ago, I was able to go to my first one last night. It was like a huge slap in the face. They had a larger group than normal yesterday so maybe it was the fact that there was more going on around him. I have always thought that Thomas was on the mild side of the autism spectrum. But comparing him to the other kids yesterday, I don’t think he can be considered mild anymore. He’s made a lot of progress in the last six months. His therapists and the daycare teachers have all been making a point of telling me that, but he isn’t in the same league as the other kids. They followed directions (with a lot of prompting and modeling) and enjoyed the activities. I still don’t feel like Thomas even hears the directions being given, much less understand directions. Modeling is doesn’t really work because he doesn’t stay still long enough to see what you are doing. Every time I tried to get him to join the activities he started crying. And not just a fussing cry, an all out “I’m sad” cry with tears streaming down his cheeks. Maybe he was just having an off day. I just want him to succeed. But he’s so far behind the other kids. And yes, I know you are not supposed to compare to other children, lets get serious, we all do it. I guess I have known that he is behind other kids. I don’t know why, but I felt better that he was doing better than a lot of the other kids on the spectrum. That sounds horrible. I’m just scared for him. I just want him to be happy. I want him to have all the opportunities he can have in life. And maybe I’m not pushing him hard enough. Maybe I need to get more therapy going. I only have him on the waiting list at one place. Maybe I should still be looking at more places. I’m not as patient as I should be. I take the easy way a lot and give in to what he wants. When he doesn’t eat what I make him, I’m afraid of him going hungry so I give in and give him something I know he will like. I probably shouldn’t do that.

I just thought he was doing so well and last night I just literally felt like I had been slapped. I don’t know how best to coach him to do what the group is doing. Every time I tried, I made things worse. But I can’t just let him do his own thing and let him play on the side by himself while the other kids are participating in an activity. I just feel helpless right now. I just need to regroup I guess.

He doesn't have a lot of the sensory issues that the other kids seem to have and in small groups he is like a different kid. I hope it was just a bad day. I hate autism.

Independence Day Bug Bites

I fogot to mention this before. Thomas got a really bad bug bite on his cheek on the 4th. I didn't really notice it till the next day. It looked like a blister the size of a pencil eraser. It wasn't really a problem till later that night when Thomas was scratching at it and broke the blister. He kind of scared me Sunday morning. The right side of his face was so swollen! His eye was almost swollen shut and his face almost looked a bit purple and you could really see the veins going out from the bug bite. I brought him to the doctor and she said it was not really a big deal but gave him a prescription antibiotic ointment to put on it. The swelling lasted through Monday, but it's pretty much gone now. The bug bite is now starting to heal so it looks much better and it seems to be bothering him a lot less too. Poor kid. He's always reacted really stongly to bug bites. I hope this is something he outgrows.

Fourth of July

We had a fun 4th of July. We went to a family-oriented picnic for several hours in the afternoon. It was a lot of fun! Our cousin Joy is in a band and they played for a while. I knew that she was in this band, but I guess I always assumed it was a rock band or something, but it is more like a dixie band. It was fun. They had all kinds of things going on. There were volleyball tournaments, horseshoe tournaments, pony-rides, contests for the kids, and more. Thomas kept wanting to run. So I would let him go and then follow him around. There was a lot of room to run, but I had to keep watching to make sure he was staying out of the way of the different games. When we got to the horseshoes, he had such a good time. It was so funny. I don't know what it was about the horseshoes, but he was clapping each time and screamed/laughed for the good ones. The people around us kept laughing because he was having such a wonderful time. We didn't do the pony rides, because he is still too small I think. I would love to go back next year so he could do that. They were even free pony rides. Sam wanted to go too, but the horses were a bit too small for him.

Fireworks later were really nice. We arrived way to early so we were all getting super ansy by the time they got started. We sat along a nice paved trail by the river. Tons of people showed up. Lots of kids running around. I wish some of those parents would not have let their little ones go right down to the river. It was kind of steep embankment and several parents let their 3-4 yo's go right down to the river. That made Thomas really want to go too, but it seemed dangerous IMO. Maybe I'm just an over protective mom.

In other news, Thomas is now saying/signing "me". And he's sometimes spontaneously waving goodbye again. One day maybe a week ago he started that again. It's nice to see. We are also getting ready for our vacation to CO. I'm super excited since I have not been there since my last year in high school. My grandparents and all my relatives on my mom's side have not even met Thomas so I'm glad they will be able to meet him. We're also going to spend a couple days in the mountains. I can't wait to do some hiking. I'm not sure how that will work with Thomas, but we've got the backpack carrier. I need to make some extra padding for the shoulders. I'm sure it will work just fine. We aren't planning on taking any of the difficult trails. I'm just really excited. This is also Sam and my first vacation together. We never even went on a honeymoon since I got pregnant with Thomas right away. We were going to go to Italy six months after the wedding. Now we are tentatively planning on Italy for our 5 year anniversary.

Anyway, we're doing well I think. I am worried about Thomas's road safety. He doesn't look before running into the road and he's intent on "escaping" and running down the street. I don't know what to do to teach that since he is only 2 1/2 and he doesn't understand a lot. I think I'll try to find a video maybe. I'm sure that Sesame Street has one.